Marriage is an Equal Relationship

A concise summary of Srimad Bhagavatam Canto 3 Chapter 14

Vidura questions sage Maitreya about the reasoning behind the confrontation between Lord Hari and demon Hiranyakashipu. Maitreya says Lord Hari is the source of liberation (moksha) for the devotees and also the source of death for the demons. In other words, one who takes delight in hearing the war topics of the Lord is relieved from the chains of birth and death. The interesting aspect is that even the war topics of the Lord elevates one’s consciousness.

Maitreya narrates the story of the birth of Hiranyakashipu in response to Vidura’s question:

Diti, the daughter of Daksha begged her husband Kashyapa, the son of Marici, to have an intercourse with her in the evening. At that time, Kashyapa was seated in meditation and was offering oblations into the fire as a worship to the Supreme Person, Lord Hari and he didn’t respond to her request. Fire is considered to be the tongue of the Personality of Godhead Viṣṇu, and oblations of grains and clarified butter offered to the fire are thus accepted by Him.

Beautiful Diti, seeing her husband absorbed in trance, began to speak loudly, attempting to attract him by bodily expressions. She frankly said that her whole body was distressed by sex desire because of her husband’s presence and she wants to conceive a child. It is the prime duty of her husband to give her all protection by fulfilling her desire. Sexual intercourse in a family life especially to beget children is considered a sacrifice as per Bhagavad Gita. The sexual intercourse performed according to the Vedic injunctions is an opportunity given to spirit souls to take birth in the human form of life and attain liberation in that life through the spiritual guidance of parents.

In the past, Daksha asked each of his 13 daughters separately, whom they prefer as their husband. The free selection of a husband was allowed by the father, but not by free association. King Dakṣa collected the opinions of his daughters and thus handed over thirteen to Kaśyapa. Every one of Diti’s sisters was a mother of children except Diti. So, Diti expressed her desire to beget a child.

For a husband, the wife is considered to be the source of liberation because she offers her service to the husband for his ultimate liberation. A faithful wife is supposed to cooperate with her husband in fulfilling all material desires so that he can then become comfortable and execute spiritual activities for the perfection of life. If, however, the husband is progressive in spiritual advancement, the wife undoubtedly shares in his activities, and thus both the wife and the husband profit in spiritual perfection. This is the reason the wife is described as the “Better Half” in the Vedas. A wife is equal in all respects to the husband, however, the responsibilities differ. When those responsibilities are executed together in spiritual consciousness, then life becomes a Vedic sacrifice to the Lord. When the wife is accepted as a sex object, personal beauty is the main consideration, and as soon as there is a break in personal beauty, there is disruption or divorce. It is also said that husband can conquer his senses by taking shelter of his wife's spiritual wisdom.

Kashyapa ultimately agreed to comply with Diti's request but asked her to wait for a few minutes due to the inauspicious evening time for sex. Lord Rudra (Shiva), being very kind to the ghosts, sees that although they are condemned, they get physical bodies. He places them into the wombs of women who indulge in sexual intercourse during inauspicous evening time. Lord Siva is almost the same as Lord Vishnu. Vishnu and Rudra are compared to milk and curd respectively. Lord Rudra can also see the past, present and future as Lord Vishnu. One of the youngest sisters of Diti, Parvati is married to Lord Rudra.

Kashyapa warned Diti about the potential outcome of the intercourse at an inauspicious time. He told Diti that Lord Shiva will not do any favors to Diti just because she happens to be a relative. The remnants of foodstuff offered to Lord Hari are called prasāda, but when the same prasāda is offered to Lord Śiva, it is called maha prasada. Lord Shiva is the greatest of all celestial gods, who run the material creation while Lord Hari is the Supreme Spirit (Paramatma). Lord Shiva is also the controller of the material energy (Shakti) because his consort Durga is the embodiment of material energy.

Diti couldn’t wait for a few minutes but she undressed Kashyapa and they had an intercourse. Kashyapa took bath after the act and engaged in chanting Gayatri Mantra. Hare Krishna Mantra is the mantra of Kali Yuga. It gives the same outcome of Gayatri Mantra, possesses the same strength as Gayatri Mantra but it can be chanted with minimal rules and regulations.

Diti prayed to Lord Shiva so that her embryo is not killed by him. Lord Shiva is easily pleased compared to Lord Hari. He is kind towards women and tribal people.

Kashyapa told Diti that she will beget two wicked sons. They will massacre innocent beings, seize women and plunder wealth. Then the Supreme Lord, Sri Hari will descend to kill them. Although disturbed, Diti felt fine because her sons will die in the hands of the Supreme Lord. Anyone killed by Lord Hari is guaranteed to get liberation.

Kashyapa also said to Diti that one of her grandsons (Prahlada) will be a great devotee of Lord Hari and he will be honored all over the world. He will set an example to all saintly persons. He will be the epitome of devotion with expanded intelligence and wider influence. He is the reservoir of good qualities and full of compassion. He will get the direct vision of Lord Hari. A pure devotee becomes attached to one of the eternal forms of the Lord, and the Lord is pleased to appear before him in the form desired. A devotee does not imagine something whimsical about the form of the Lord, nor does he ever think that the Lord is impersonal.